Phyllis Mathis

Licensed Counselor, Spiritual Mentor, Life Coach

Sometimes it takes more than education, experience, and expertise. Sometimes it takes a certain kind of soul.


The Iconic Self

Some souls enter the world demanding to be taken at face value. Most of us, however, learn to ask permission. We gladly trade the right to be who we are for the security of belonging, the relief of conforming, and the satisfaction of mastering the rules of the game. This is what growing up is mostly about.

Socialization, the process a child goes through in order to learn the rules of belonging in polite society, becomes a very long, mostly unconscious game of “Let’s make a deal.” Some savvy part of the self becomes a soul broker, deciding which parts of us get airtime and which parts need to bide their time. The parts we can’t risk in public – the wild, imaginative, unconventional, powerful, and defiant parts  - are lulled into passivity with promises of “maybe someday,” or “after the risk of rejection has passed.” 

There comes a time, however, when our souls tire of riding in the back seat. We start to feel as if we’re missing something essential. We feel compromised and dull, and we wonder if we’ve paid too high a price for respectability. 

We have. 

Our missing pieces hold the key to our power and creativity, our passion and vitality. Our soul’s work is to recover and bless these essential aspects of the self we were meant to be. 

It’s time for those missing parts to step out of the shadows and learn how to play, but it’s late in the game, and we never learned how. 

We need a little help.

The Iconic Self (Jen Lee Productions, 2012) was created for this purpose. In these recorded sessions, Jen Lee and I invite you into our own processes, sharing our stories of awakening and honoring our missing pieces. We tell of identifying icons of those shadow selves, borrowing their strength in order to practice our moves, unleashing the power and vitality we’d been carrying all along.